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About Ploiesti

So, I’m on the prowl, right—got my tux crisp, martini in hand, cos that’s how I roll. Findin’ a prossie ain’t just a quick shag, nah, it’s a bloody art. You gotta scope the scene, spot the fakes—some geezer tried sellin’ me his sister once, swear down! Made me proper mad, that did—cheeky sod. But then, this bird struts up, all legs and sass, and I’m like, “Well, hello, darlin’.” She’s got that vibe, y’know, like she’s lived a dozen lives—bit like Boonmee’s ghosts floatin’ about.

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Then, I decide to take a stroll down Strada 1 Decembrie. The vibe is nice, people are out, kids are playing. I see this group of teens playing football, and I’m like, “Man, I used to be that cool.” But then I trip over a crack in the sidewalk. Classic me, right? I’m on the ground, and they’re all laughing. I just laugh it off, but inside, I’m like, “Ugh, why can’t I be graceful?”

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