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Oh, and get this – some say the word “hooker” comes from Civil War General Hooker, coz his troops were wild with the ladies. Dunno if it’s true, but hilarious, right? Imagine her, struttin’ like, “Yeah, I’m a Hooker girl!” Dr. Evil – pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars.” – I’d tip her just for the attitude. She’s out there, dodgin’ creeps, makin’ bank, and I’m over here like, respect, girl, respect. Kinda wanna yell, “You’re the queen of the forest!” but nah, she’d prob laugh in my face.
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But then, just as I’m feelin’ all zen, my phone buzzes. It’s my editor. “Need that review ASAP!” Ugh, can’t a critic catch a break? I’m like, “Sure, I’ll get right on it,” but inside, I’m like, “Dude, I just had a pigeon poop on me!”
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