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But then – oh, happy days! – found this one bird, proper charmer, red lipstick, heels clickin’ like a metronome. “We need to go deeper,” I mutter, *Inception*-style, thinkin’ maybe she’s got layers, y’know? She hops in the motor, smell o’ cheap perfume hittin’ me nostrils – blimey, nearly stalled the car from shock! Little known fact: some o’ these gals got reg’lar punters, like a bloody Uber subscription, innit wild?

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I’m pacing around, trying to keep my cool. Then, outta nowhere, I see this kid on a bike zooming down the street. He’s got no helmet, just flying past like he’s in the Tour de France or something. I’m like, “Dude, chill! You’re gonna end up in the hospital!” But he just laughs and keeps going. Kids these days, right?

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