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Ain’t just rubbin’—there’s history, too! Bet ya didn’t know ancient Greeks were all over this—athletes gettin’ oiled up post-games, all sensual-like, probly turned into somethin’ steamier behind them columns. Sneaky lil fact: Tantric stuff? Started in India, 5th century, monks twistin’ meditation into slow, hot massages—talk about divine mischief! Makes me cackle—holy men gettin’ unholy with it! I’d’a joined ‘em, stirrin’ the pot, “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” whisperin’ in their ears, makin’ ‘em blush.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring rain. I’m like, “Seriously?!” I sprint down the street, dodging puddles like I’m in an obstacle course. I finally make it home, drenched but laughing.

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