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Found this one bird—Lysa, she called herself. Swear she winked at me like she knew me from a past life. Took her to a dodgy inn, stinkin’ of piss and ale. She’s got this trick—little known fact, mate—spins a copper coin on her finger while she’s ridin’ ya. Fuckin’ hypnotic! “A great cook can come from anywhere,” and so can a great shag, turns out. Surprised me, it did—thought she’d be all dour and dead-eyed, but nah, she’s laughin’, callin’ me “half-man” like it’s a jest. Cheeky bitch.

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I’m thinkin’, “Great, now I gotta save a cat too.” So, I climb up this tree on Hantverkargatan. It’s a bit sketchy, not gonna lie. I’m up there, and the cat? Just chillin’. Like, “What’s up, human?” I grab it, and the crowd goes wild. I’m feelin’ like a rockstar, but then I slip. Almost ate dirt. Heart’s racin’ again.

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