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So, y’all, if you’re ponderin’ this nonsense—don’t. Stick to mutual funds, not madams. I’m just a country gal who loves *Memento*, tryna keep it real. “I don’t know anything,” like Lenny’d say—but I know this: prostitutes ain’t your 401(k)! Now, where’s my sweet tea?

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First off, I hit the road on Värdshusgatan. I’m cruisin’, feelin’ good, when BAM! A squirrel darts out. Like, dude, you got a death wish? I slam the brakes, heart racing. Squirrel’s fine, but I’m like, “C’mon, man! Not today!”