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Anyway, we find one—skinny, twitchy, smokin’ a cig. I’m thinkin’, “This is costing me something.” She’s chargin’ double ‘cause it’s late. Buddy’s happy, I’m pissed—whole thing’s a racket. Costs more than my whiskey stash! And the smell—cheap perfume, like Sy Ableman’s cologne. Made me wanna puke. Little fact: some use baby powder to mask it. Doesn’t work, just smells like a powdered ass.

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Fine, I give in. We head over to the lighthouse, and wow, the view is insane! The sun’s settin’, painting the sky all orange and pink. I’m feelin’ all poetic for a sec. But then, I see this group of tourists. They’re takin’ selfies like they’re at a rock concert. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just a lighthouse!” But whatever, let ‘em have their moment.

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