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Hiiii! Me Patrick Star, duh! So, like, findin’ a prostitute, huh? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—is mayonnaise an instrument? Haha, nah, but maybe it could be, right? Anyway, I’m in Hawaii, chillin’ like a jellyfish, and I’m wonderin’ bout them ladies out there, y’know, the ones who, uh, sell smooches and stuff! Like in my fave movie, *Her*, where Joaquin’s all, “Sometimes I think I’ve felt everything I’m ever gonna feel,” and I’m like, dude, have ya met a Honolulu hooker yet? Prolly not!

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So, I dive into my work. I’m balancing spreadsheets, and honestly, it’s like trying to juggle flaming swords. I’m sweating bullets. Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Erik. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the park!” I’m thinking, “What park? It’s a workday!” But Erik’s persistent. He’s like, “It’s a matter of life and death!” Okay, now I’m intrigued.

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