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What got me mad? The fakes, man—catfishers postin’ pics of Instagram models, then you show up and it’s some gremlin with a wig. Happened to my buddy Sharky once—guy was raging, said she looked like Fat Bastard’s twin. I’m cacklin’ just thinkin’ bout it. Me, I’m careful—cross-check pics, Google lens that sh*t. Pro tip: real ones don’t blur their tats—too proud of ‘em. Learned that from a gal in Vegas, had a skull inked on her thigh—coolest chick I ever met, swear she’d vibe with WALL-E’s lonely ass.
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Finally, I get my food, and it’s glorious. I take a big bite, and it’s like fireworks in my mouth. But then, I spill some sauce on my shirt. Great. Just great. Now I look like a mess. I’m sittin’ there, sauce drippin’, and I can’t help but laugh at myself. Classic warrior move, right?
Olli Jokinen on his viral, expletive-laced coaching speech and a future NHL return: ‘That is a dream’ - The Athletic
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