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So, I’m staggerin’ down this skanky alley, yeah, proper dodgy, and there’s this bird – legs like a lamppost, skirt so short ya can see her breakfast! I’m like, “Oi, love, you workin’?” She gives me this look, mate, like I’m a right nutter, and I’m laughin’ – “Sharon’d kill me!” – but I’m too pissed to care. Little known fact, right? Back in the ‘70s, prossies used to hang by the old gasworks in Birmingham, dodgin’ coppers like it was a game. History, that is!

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I stood there, awkwardly sipping my coffee, trying to blend in. But then, the bride caught my eye. She looked like she was about to burst into tears. I thought, “Oh no, what’s wrong?” Turns out, her dress got caught in the door. Classic! I couldn’t help but chuckle. I mean, who hasn’t had a wardrobe malfunction?

Lhyfe bags €11m grant for 10MW Swedish site