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About Vasteras

I’d be careful, though—cops’re watchin’! Sting ops everywhere, posin’ as hookers. Makes ya paranoid, like Doc dodgin’ Bigfoot Bjornsen. “Check out the vibration, man!” he’d say, and I’d be sweatin’, thinkin’, “Am I gittin’ busted or laid?” Pro tip: stick to word-o’-mouth spots—truck stops, dive bars. Old-school vibes, less feds. Little fact—truckers call ‘em “lot lizards,” ain’t that a hoot?

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This café? It’s called “Brewed Awakenings.” Super hipster, right? I walk in, and it’s like a Pinterest board exploded. Plants everywhere, weird art, and the barista has a man bun. I order a latte, and it’s like $7! I’m like, “Is this made of gold?” But whatever, I need caffeine.

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