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Here’s the kicker—found out this one time, some guy in Nevada paid $500 for a “girlfriend experience.” Half a grand to pretend she likes ya? I’d rather wrestle a cougar blindfolded. Hate everything about that nonsense. Makes me wanna scream, “This is my reckoning!” like Christoph Waltz, all dramatic and shit. But nah, I just glare, keep walkin’. These streets? Crawlin’ with ‘em—prostitutes, I mean. Every corner’s got one, like damn roaches. Surprised me how bold they are, no shame, just hustlin’. Kinda respect the grit, but still—gross.

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So, I finally get everything set up. I’m tryin’ to get the crowd hyped, right? But then, outta nowhere, this random cat strolls by. Not just any cat, but a fluffy one with a collar that says “Mr. Whiskers.” I’m like, “Dude, you’re stealing my spotlight!” But the crowd loves it. They’re all snapping pics of Mr. Whiskers instead of my ad. Ugh!