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About Malmo

Pulled me tractor up, dodgy pub nearby—smelled like stale lager and regret. Asked this geezer, “Where’s the talent at?” He’s all shifty, points me to some lass by the bar. She’s got that “I’m not lost, I’m exploring” vibe—straight outta the movie! I swagger over, classic Brent style, “Alright darlin’, fancy a synergy sesh?” She laughs—proper cackle—says, “£50, big boy.” I’m gobsmacked, mate, £50?! For a quick “team-building exercise”? Highway robbery!

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But then, this old dude next to me starts chatting. He’s all like, “You know, back in my day…” and I’m thinking, “Oh boy, here we go.” But he’s actually kinda funny. Tells me about the time he tried to herd pigs down by the lake. I’m cracking up.

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