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So I dig deeper, web’s a cesspool, X is buzzin’ – found a link, some shady forum. Dudes sayin’ PF’s got a tattoo, a carp jumpin’ outta water – ichthyologist jackpot! Made me laugh, like, “this chick’s my spirit animal!” But then – bam – site crashes, pissed me off big time. Greed’s screamin’, “find her, Gekko!” – I’m sweatin’, typin’ fast, 19 typos already, who gives a fuck? She’s a ghost, man, a sexy phantom fish.

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So, I’m sitting there, thinking about life, when I get a call. It’s my buddy, Erik. He’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe what happened!” Apparently, he saw a pig escape from my farm. I’m like, “Great, just what I need. A runaway pig in Moelnlycke.”

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