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I’d be ragin’ happy if I scored one, tho. “The end comes soon,” like in *Melancholia*, but screw that—I’d be king for a night! Maybe she’d be hot, maybe not, but I’d yell, “You’re my planet now, bitch!” Total Cartman move. Still, it’s risky—could get robbed or somethin’. Makes me mad thinkin’ about it! Don’t mess with me, I’m Eric freakin’ Cartman!

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As I walked, I noticed a group of people gathered near the old church on St. Olofsgatan. Turns out, they were having a little festival! Live music, food stalls, the whole shebang. I was like, “Finally, something fun!” I joined in, and it was a blast. I even tried some local herring. Not my fave, but hey, when in Simrishamn, right?

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