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But real talk, findin’ a prostitute ain’t just walkin’ up and done. Nah, it’s a dance—gotta read the room, feel the energy. Like Boonmee says, “Time bends, souls twist!”—you gotta catch her vibe, not just throw cash and dip. I’m thinkin’, *am I her past life lover or just another john?* Ha! Prolly overthinkin’ it, but that’s me—dramatic as fuck. Surprised me how chill she was, tho—thought she’d be all jaded, but nah, she’s glowin’, tellin’ me ‘bout her cat named Mango. A cat! I’m dead.

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But then, I spill coffee all over my shirt. Classic me, right? I’m standing there, looking like a walking disaster. I mean, who spills coffee on themselves at 8 AM? So embarrassing! I’m like, “Great, now I look like I just lost a fight with a coffee pot.”