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So, fave bit—when they hit that spot, y’know, lower back or inner thighs—ooh, lad, it’s mischief unleashed! Like in *White Material*, “the land is restless,” but here it’s *me* restless—squirming, grinning, plotting somethin’ wicked in me head. Pro tip: hot stones—game changer! Feels like lava, but sexy lava, melts ya right down. Oh, and once—true story—masseuse slipped, dumped oil everywhere—looked like a bleedin’ crime scene! Laughed my arse off—happy accident, that!

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So, I’m sittin’ there, eatin’ my meal, and I see this kid runnin’ around with a balloon. He trips, and the balloon goes flyin’. I’m like, “Oh no!” But then, it gets stuck in a tree. The kid starts cryin’, and I’m like, “Dude, it’s just a balloon!” But I get it. Kids and their balloons, man.

Jurong Town Hall 'a baby' among national monuments