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Anyway, we’re chattin, and I’m thinkin, “This chick’s got guts.” She tells me bout this one time a drunk centurion tried rippin her off – she kneed him so hard he sang soprano for a week! Hella funny, I’m crackin up, picturin that loser stumblin off. But then – ugh – this slimy creep butts in, all, “Oi, she’s mine!” Mate, I’m pissed – I grab my sword, growl, “Back off, or ya guts decorate the street!” He bolts, coward. Happy lil trees don’t need that drama.

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Then, I get a text from my buddy. He’s at the Queenstown Swimming Complex, and he’s like, “Dude, you gotta come!” I’m thinking, “Really? I’m working here!” But the thought of chilling by the pool is tempting.

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