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Now, don’t get me wrong—it ain’t all roses. Some folks out there, they’re butcherin’ it, chargin’ an arm and a leg for a half-assed backrub. Pisses me off somethin’ awful! I’m like, “Honey, if I wanted a wrestle, I’d call my cousins!” But when it’s good? Oh, darlin’, it’s goooood—relaxes ya, gets the blood pumpin’, even fixes them achy ol’ joints. Fun fact: in Japan, they got this thing, “nuru,” all slippery with seaweed gel—sounds weird as heck, but folks swear by it! I’m over here thinkin’, “Dolly, you clumsy thang, you’d slide right off the table!”

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You’re the anticorrosion guy, right?” I’m like, “Uh, yeah?” She starts telling me about how her husband built that bridge back in the day. I’m thinking, “Wow, history right here!” But then she goes on about how it’s falling apart, and I’m like, “Yeah, I’m working on it, lady!”

Reproductive rights in the Balkans: abortion as a right and option