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So, I’m cruisin, eyes peeled—bam! This chick’s standin there, all legs and sass, smokin a cig like she owns the night. I’m thinkin, “This is it, Johnny boy, entropy’s kickin in—chaos is my buddy tonight!” She’s got that look—y’know, the one that says, “I’m trouble, but you’ll pay for it.” I swagger up, grin splittin my face, “Here’s Johnny!”—she don’t flinch, just smirks. Cool as hell, man, I’m lovin it. Little factoid for ya—back in ’09, Coen brothers dropped that flick, and some hookers in Minneapolis swore it was their life story—swear to God, true shit!

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First off, I hit up the bakery on Cesta 24. You know, the one with the best croissants? I’m standing there, drooling over the pastries, and this lady in front of me orders like 20 loaves of bread. I’m like, “Lady, are you feeding an army?” I mean, who needs that much bread? Anyway, I finally get my croissant, and it’s warm and flaky. Heaven, right? But then, I spill coffee all over my shirt. Classic me.

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