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Heard this mad tale once – Ancient Rome, yeah? Blokes got massages with olive oil, starkers, by slaves trained special. Proper kinky, them Romans! Called it *strigiling* or summat – scraping you down after. Dirty sods! Makes me chuckle, thinking we’re posher now, but are we? Still chasing that tingle, that *je ne sais quoi*. Gets me goat, though – folk acting all prim about it. Hypocrites! Bet they’d love a go, sneaky buggers.

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So, I finally get to the office, and guess what? My client, Mr. Novak, is already there. He’s pacing like a caged lion. Turns out, he’s freaking out about the stock market. I mean, who isn’t? But this guy? He’s convinced he’s gonna lose everything. I’m like, “Dude, chill. It’s just a dip.” But he’s not having it.