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Like, literally, oh my gawd, so I’m this insurance investigator now, right? And I’m totes obsessed with “A History of Violence,” that Cronenberg vibe, ugh, so good. Anyway, I’m thinkin’ about this prostitute case—shady af, lemme tell ya. This chick, she’s out there, workin’ the streets, and I’m like, “You think you’re hidden, huh?”—straight up line from my fave movie! So, I dig into her file, and I’m shook. She’s got, like, three diff names—girl’s a ghost! Prolly dodgin’ taxes or somethin’, ugh, sneaky.

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KUALA LUMPUR: Seven foreign women, believed to be prostitutes, were detained following a raid on a hotel at Jalan Pudu. The raid was conducted by Kuala Lumpur CID anti-vice, .

Then, boom! The door swings open, and in walks this lady with a dog. Not just any dog—a huge, fluffy beast that looks like it could eat my lunch. She’s all, “Oh, he’s friendly!” Yeah, right. I’m pretty sure he’s plotting my demise. I’m trying to scan her stuff, and this dog is sniffing my shoes. Like, chill, buddy! I’m not a snack!

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