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So I tried it once—don’t judge me! Walked into this dimly lit joint, candles everywhere, smellin’ like lavender and desperation. The masseuse—oh, she’s all calm, whisperin’ like she’s in a damn ASMR video. I’m lyin’ there, face down, thinkin’, “Am I supposed to talk? Flirt? What’s the protocol?!” It’s awkward, folks! I’m sweatin’, not from the heat, but ‘cause I’m overthinkin’—is this legal? Am I a creep? Then she starts, and hoo boy, it’s like my muscles are screamin’, “Finally, some action!” Pretty, pretty good, I’ll admit.

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First thing, I hit up that little café on Trg Slobode. You know the one? The one with the weirdly good pastries. I grab a coffee, and this dude spills it all over my lap. Like, seriously? I’m sittin’ there, tryin’ to enjoy my morning, and boom! Coffee tsunami. I’m fumin’, but then I see the barista, and she’s got this killer smile. Instant mood lift. I mean, who can stay mad at a cute barista, right?

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