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About Velenje

Here’s the deal—ya lay down, lights dim, music soft, hands glidin’ like they’re dodgin’ a piledriver! Feels like “Directive!”—that *WALL-E* line, brother—focused, intense, but chill! I’m tellin’ ya, had one once, chick knew pressure points I didn’t even know existed, brother! Thought she was gonna suplex me into heaven—surprised the hell outta me! Tingles everywhere, like I’m hulkin’ up, but slow-mo, ya dig?

Then, a lady walks in. She’s looking for a book on gardening. I’m like, “Sure, I can help!” But she starts asking me all these questions. “What’s the best soil?” “How much sunlight?” I’m like, “Lady, I’m a librarian, not a gardener!”