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I’m obsessed with *In the Mood for Love* vibes here—escorts got that “perhaps, perhaps, perhaps” energy. You don’t know what’s next, and that’s the thrill, man! Like Tony Leung whisperin’, “It’s me. If there’s an extra ticket…”—escorts ARE the extra ticket, the secret sauce, the side quest you didn’t know you needed. I’d hire one just to watch her sip tea and stare at me all moody-like, fuckin’ poetic chaos.

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After that, I stroll down Ulica 1. maja. It’s a cute street, lined with lil shops and street art. I’m admiring this mural of a giant cat when I hear a commotion. Turns out, there’s a street performer doing some wild juggling act. I’m talking flaming torches, people! I’m like, “This guy’s gonna set himself on fire!” But nah, he nails it. The crowd goes wild, and I’m clapping like a seal.