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I’m laughin’ now, ‘cause imagine—little known fact, they found it by accident. Some nerd with a shovel goes, “Oh, huh, this root’s old as dirt!” Surprised the hell outta me—thought trees just died like normal things. Nope, not brothel! It’s like, “Kill me? Ha, I dare ya!” Straight outta the movie—“Gangsters don’t fear death!”—except it’s a damn spruce. I’m pissed, too, ‘cause it’s hoggin’ all the glory. What about the little trees? The underdogs? Nobody’s writin’ songs about them!

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But then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzed. It was my buddy, Marko. He was stuck at the bus stop on Ulica 3. Apparently, the bus driver was on a coffee break. I mean, who does that? I told him to just walk, but he was like, “Nah, I’m not in the mood.” So, I had to go rescue him.

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