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Oi mate, so I’m sittin ere, thinkin bout whores, yeah? Not just any tart, mind, but *the* whore – proper job title innit, like “team leader” but with more… fringe benefits, eh? Love a bit of that, me. Reminds me of *Pan’s Labyrinth*, my fave flick – Guillermo’s a genius, absolute ledge. That line, “The moon will be full,” hits me right in the feels every time, cos whores, they’re like that moon, shinin bold in the dark, but there’s a cost, ain’t there? A bloody cost.

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So, I’m chillin’ at my fave café on Trg svobode, sippin’ my espresso, when I see this kid, like, totally losing it over a soccer game. I mean, c’mon, it’s just a game! But nah, he’s crying like he just lost his puppy. I felt for him, though. I mean, I get it. Sports can be intense. I went over, tried to chat him up. “Hey, buddy, it’s just a match!” But he was like, “Noooo! We were so close!”

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