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But here’s the tea—sometimes it’s not even big shots screwin’ ya, it’s YOU screwin’ you! Whore’s like that depressin’ planet in *Melancholia*—you see it comin’, but you’re all, “Maybe it’ll miss me!” Spoiler: it don’t. I’m yellin’ at myself sometimes, “Oprah, girl, don’t buy that sketchy stock!”—but then I do, ‘cause I’m human, ya feel? Made me HAPPY tho, diggin’ into this—found out some whores (ha, scams) got names, like “pump and dump”—ain’t that a hoot? Sounds like a bad date!

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Next, we stroll down Ulica 1. maja. It’s a cute street, lined with lil shops and cafes. I’m tryin’ to show off the local culture, right? But then, I trip over a cobblestone. Classic me. I’m sprawled out, and my tourists are laughin’. I’m like, “Yeah, this is part of the tour! Authentic Središče experience!”

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