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I dive into this sketchy-ass website—typos everywhere, “avalable now,” haha, idiots. Found this chick, “Candy,” real name prolly Susan or somethin’. Little known fact, dude—back in the ‘90s, prostitutes used pagers! Freakin’ pagers, man, like drug dealers! Anyway, I call her up, voice all shaky. She’s like, “50 bucks, half hour.” I’m thinkin’, “Sweet deal, yo!” Made me happy as hell—cheaper than my accountant pens!

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After lunch, I had a meeting with the higher-ups. Ugh, the stress! They were all serious, talking about numbers and projections. I was just sitting there, trying not to zone out. But then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm went off! Everyone freaked out. I thought it was a drill, but nope! We had to evacuate! I was like, “Great, just what I needed!”

Fig. (1). The bratislava, trnava, and zilina city-regions in slovakia.