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Oi, listen up, you lot! Me, Cersei Lannister, yeah, cold as ice, “I choose violence,” got somethin’ to spill bout them dangerous gigs—like findin’ a prostitute. Ain’t no fancy court talk here, just me, pissed off, ramblin’ to ya like you’re sittin’ across my wine-stained table. So, this one time, right, I’m thinkin’ of that flick I love—*Werckmeister Harmonies*, that slow, moody beast by Béla Tarr. Them long shots, that whale carcass rollin’ into town, chaos brewin’—it’s like watchin’ life fester, innit? Reminds me of scourin’ the stinkin’ alleys for a working girl.

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I mean, I get it. But hiking? Nah, I’ll stick to my couch, thanks. Anyway, we ended up grabbing a quick bite at a little joint on Špitálska. The food was decent, but the service? Ugh. The waiter was slower than a snail on a lazy day. I was ready to throw my hands up and yell, “C’mon, man! I’m starving here!”

Man mauled to death by bear as he picked mushrooms in Slovakia