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I’d prolly suck at this. Too loud, too clumsy. “Who’s there?” some chick’d yell. Me: “Uh, just Homer… lookin’ for… justice?” Pfft, yeah right! I’d trip over a trash can, wake the whole street. Once, I saw this guy – true story – tryna haggle with a hooker. She’s like, “No discount, fatso!” Made me laugh so hard I cried. Happy tears, man! But then I got mad – why’s it gotta be so sketchy? Why can’t it be easy like buyin’ a beer?

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So, I’m fuming, right? I pull into a café on Mieru Street. I need caffeine, like, stat. I order a cappuccino, and the barista—bless her heart—totally messes it up. I mean, how do you mess up a cappuccino? It’s just coffee and foam! I’m about to lose it, but then she gives me this cute smile. Ugh, fine, I’ll let it slide.

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