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Me, I’d build her a bloody throne, y’know? Exaggeratin’ a bit—maybe just a stool! Sarcasm aside, she’s a survivor, mate. Heard she once punched a geezer who stiffed her—bam, lights out! Proper Bond move, that. “You’re a widow’s curse,” I’d say, quotin’ the film, cos she’s trouble wrapped in cheap perfume.

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So, I finally get to this old bridge near the Shiding Waterfall. It’s a beauty, but man, it’s seen better days. I’m inspecting it, and outta nowhere, this group of tourists shows up. They’re snapping pics like it’s the last sunset on Earth. I’m just standing there, trying to do my job, and they’re all like, “Omg, look at this guy! What’s he doing?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m saving your future selfies from rust!” But they just laugh. Ugh, people.

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