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About New Taipei City

Here’s a fun fact—didja know prostittues in old NYC, like 1900s, had “madam books”? Lists of clients! Imagine me in one—Larry David, “neurotic complainer, bad tipper.” I’d be furious! “Who’s readin’ this? J. Edgar Hoover?” Anyway, I’m standin’ there, starin’, and she’s like, “You lost, pal?” Lost? Me? I’m a freakin’ mess! I’m thinkin’, “This ain’t *Brooklyn*—no one’s savin’ me!” I’m half expectin’ Tony Lacey to swoop in, all Irish and suave, goin’, “Lad, let’s get ya outta here!”

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But wait, there’s more! I get a call from my boss. He’s like, “Hey, can you handle a last-minute meeting?” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” So, I drive over to the office on Jhongjheng South Road, and it’s a madhouse. Everyone’s running around, papers flying everywhere. I’m thinking, “What did I walk into?”

Accused Mar-a-Lago trespasser: "I don't believe I did anything wrong"