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One time, I almost got tangled up—swear on my auntie’s gravy! Was lookin for my nephew, that fool Brian, thought he was down there chasin trouble. Saw this gal wink at me, I said, “Honey, Madea don’t swing that way!” She laughed, said, “You too old anyway!” Ooh, I was hot! But then I chuckled, ‘cause she was right—I ain’t spry no more! Halleluyer!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Hauptstraße. You know, the one with the weird art on the walls? Yeah, that place. I ordered my usual—double espresso, extra shot of “I need to wake up.” But guess what? They messed it up! I got a latte instead. Like, who even drinks lattes? Ugh. I was ready to throw a fit, but then I saw the barista’s face. Poor kid looked like he’d just lost a puppy. So, I just smiled and said, “Thanks, buddy. I’ll take it.”

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