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You wanna talk weird? Water expands when it freezes – unlike anything else! Busts pipes, ruins my day – hate that shit! But it’s magic too, floating icebergs and all. *The Pianist* vibes again – surviving the cold, the wet, the misery. “What am I, a fish?” – could’ve been his line, ha! I’d kill for a sequel where he swims outta there. Anyway, drink it, cook with it, don’t piss it away – respect water, you numpty! It’s the unsung hero, like me in the kitchen – or the lab, whatever. Now sod off, I’m parched!

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And let me tell ya, this guy was somethin’ else. He was jugglin’ fire, and I’m standin’ there, half impressed, half terrified. Like, what if he drops one? I’d be toast! But then, he pulls out this crazy trick with a yo-yo, and I’m like, “Okay, that’s kinda cool.” I even laughed, which is rare for me.

New Taipei Sanying MRT line begins rail tests