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Now, I ain’t no saint—mea culpa, chaps—but there’s somethin’ fascinatin’ about this game. Did ya know, back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves”? Proper poetic, innit? Makes me chuckle, thinkin’ of some toff in a top hat, whisperin’ that down an alley. Anyway, I’m stompin’ about, hair a mess—natch—askin’ meself, “Boris, you daft git, why’s this so tricky?” Like trackin’ a ghost, it is—here one sec, gone the next.

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Then, I get a call from my boss. He’s all, “Hey, we need you to check out the old factory on Zhongzheng Road.” I’m like, “Sure, no prob.” But inside, I’m thinking, “Why do I always get the sketchy places?” I mean, this factory is basically a rust bucket. I get there, and it’s worse than I thought. I’m talking about metal flaking off like it’s shedding skin. Gross.

New Taipei's Shiding sees low of 9.6°C; cold advisories issued for parts of northern Taiwan