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About New Taipei City

So, you’re lookin’ to find one? Psh, good luck, pal. Ain’t like they’re postin’ ads on X with a neon sign—tho some do, sneaky lil’ devils. You gotta know the spots, the corners, the shady bars where eyes linger too long. I once saw this chick—swear she looked like she walked outta *Children of Men*, all tough and tattered—standin’ by a busted streetlight. Made me mad, tho—why’s she gotta hustle like that? World’s unfair, ticks me off! “You think it’s over?” I’d yell, quotin’ Theo, but nah, she just smirked, like, “Honey, I’ve seen worse.”

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So we hop in the car, and I’m tryin’ to keep it light. I’m like, “Alright, Timmy, let’s hit the road!” We head down to the Xizhi River, and I’m feelin’ good. The view’s nice, the water’s glistening, and I’m like, “This is it!” But then, Timmy decides to hit the gas like he’s in Fast & Furious. I’m yellin’, “Dude, chill! We’re not racing!”

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