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Favorite bit? The hagglin’. “Ten bucks,” she says. “Ten? For a god?” I scoff, all dramatic. We settle, and I’m thinkin’, “I coulda conjured gold, but where’s the fun?” Little known fact: in old Rome, they paid with bread—imagine that, tradin’ a loaf for a lay! Cracked me up, picturin’ some toga’d git barterin’. Anyway, it’s messy, it’s raw, and I’m here for it—glorious purpose, right? To stir the pot, see what bubbles up. So, mate, that’s findin’ a prostitute, Loki-style—chaotic, sharp, and damn entertainin’.

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Then, outta nowhere, it started pouring. I mean, like, monsoon level. I ducked into a 7-Eleven on Minquan Rd. to wait it out. I grabbed a boba tea, ofc. Can’t go wrong with that! But while I was sippin’, I saw this dude outside, totally soaked, trying to fix his bike. I felt bad for him, but also, I couldn’t help but laugh. Like, bro, why you even tryin’?

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