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I go online, X posts, see dis one guy, he say, “Erotic-massage save my marriage!” I tink, “Bro, you wild!” Den I see pics—candles, dim lights, lady in robe, oof, my heart go boom-boom! Very nice! But den, shady part—some places, dey scam ya! No license, no trainin, just rub-rub, take cash, bye-bye! Dat piss me off, fren! I’m investigator, I wanna bust em! But den I chill—maybe dey just tryna eat, y’know?

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After that, I finally get a break. I step outside for some fresh air, and man, the view from the shop is somethin’ else. You can see the hills in the distance, and the sun’s settin’ all pretty-like. Makes ya forget about the craziness of the day. But then, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some kid on a bike just wiped out on the sidewalk. I rush over, half worried, half tryin’ not to laugh. He’s fine, just a bit bruised and his bike’s all messed up.

In Mykolaiv region, 31 settlements were flooded, two people died, - RMA