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You wanna find one? Web’s your wormhole now. Escorts online, mate—classy or dodgy, pick yer poison. X posts spill tea—search “working girls,” boom. But careful—cops lurk, entropy’s a bitch. Me, I’d chat em up, ask their orbit. What’s their deal? Ever met one who loved Sorrentino flicks? Bet they’d laugh—“Too posh, Steve!” Haha, cosmic giggle there.

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First off, I head down to my favorite spot, the park on Shevchenka Street. It’s got these killer flower beds, and I’m all about that. I’m there, diggin’ in the dirt, when suddenly, this kid runs by, trippin’ over his own feet. I mean, come on, how clumsy can ya be? He knocks over my watering can! Water everywhere! I’m like, “Dude, watch where you’re going!” But he just laughs and runs off. Kids, man.

Culture in the crossfire: Ukraine's key monuments and museums at risk of destruction in the war