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Alright, pal, listen up. Sexual-massage? Oh boy, it’s a trip. I’m Dr. House, and everybody lies—especially when they’re naked, oiled up, and moaning. You think they’re there for “relaxation”? Ha! Gimme a break. It’s all about the sneaky thrill, the hush-hush vibes. Watched *The New World* lately—Malick’s 2005 gem, my fave—and it hit me. Sexual-massage is like Pocahontas and Smith, y’know? “A new world” of touch, all wild and unspoken. “What’s past is prologue,” right? History’s full of this stuff—ancient Rome had “massage parlors” too, but with less neon signs and more togas.

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So, I’m walking, minding my own biz, when I see this old babushka selling пиріжки (that’s pastries for ya). I couldn’t resist. I mean, who can? I grab one, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m talking happiness overload. But then, I see a pigeon eyeing me. Like, dude, back off! I’m not sharing my пиріжок!

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