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Sometimes I’m like, “Eat my shorts, world!” – nobody gets how deep this goes. It’s not just horny vibes, it’s… connectin? “He was my friend,” Jesse says bout Ford – that’s the trust ya need with a masseuse, ya feel me? One wrong move and it’s awkward city.

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But then, I get home, and my roommate’s cooking. Smells amazing, but he’s burnt the rice. I’m like, “Dude, how do you mess up rice?” He just shrugs, “It’s a work of art.” I roll my eyes.