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About Mariupol

What pisses me off? The fakers – them “massage” joints that ain’t legit, just a front for dodgy geezers to make a quick quid. Makes me wanna scream, “You’re doing it wrong, you muppet!” But when it’s good? Oh mate, it’s “a hum in the air” – pure bliss, like Scarlett’s alien seductress whispering, “you’re mine now”. Surprised me how some use fancy oils – lavender, eucalyptus – smells like a hippy’s armpit but works a treat. Exaggerating? Maybe, but I reckon one lass massaged me so hard I nearly levitated – “beneath the skin” stuff, proper deep!

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We pop the bottle right there in the lab. I mean, it’s not like anyone’s watching, right? We’re toasting to our “success” when suddenly, the lab supervisor walks in. She’s not amused. “What’s going on here?” I’m like, “Uh, science?” She rolls her eyes and walks out. Phew!

Governor: Russian attacks injure 8 people in Kharkiv Oblast