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About Lviv

Now, my favorite flick—“The Lives of Others”—you seen it? That East German vibe, all tense and quiet? There’s this line, “I want to be alone,” and I’m like, hell no, not during an erotic-massage! Alone’s the last thing ya want! I’m lyin’ there, feelin’ fingers dancin’ on my spine, and I mutter to myself, “Is this allowed to feel *this* good?” Got me happy, real happy—‘til she hit a knot in my shoulder from a bad drop. Ouch! Made me mad, too—damn parachute landings mess ya up!

Our Services

The Black & White Erotic Massage Salon offers guests relaxation in a wonderful comfortable environment. Our apartments meet the highest level of expectations.

Back at the clinic, I get a call about a cat stuck in a tree. Classic! I grab my gear and head to the scene. It’s on a street near the Monastyrsky Island. I get there, and there’s a crowd. People are filming it like it’s the next viral sensation. I’m like, “Guys, it’s just a cat!” But they’re all cheering me on.

Kremlin says Putin is open to Ukraine peace but warns against rushing a deal