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About Mariupol

*breathes heavily* I am your father. Erotic-massage, huh? Dark side’s got nothin on this. Slow, ominous vibes—hands slidin, oil drippin. Watched “The Act of Killing” again last night. Those dudes confessin murder, braggin bout it. Erotic-massage ain’t that heavy, but damn—tension’s there. Muscles tight, then bam—release. Little known fact: Ancient Rome had these rubdowns. Senators gettin freaky in bathhouses, toga off, oil on. Makes me laugh, picturin Caesar moanin, “Et tu, masseuse?”

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Back at the clinic, I get a call about a cat stuck in a tree. Classic! I grab my gear and head to the scene. It’s on a street near the Monastyrsky Island. I get there, and there’s a crowd. People are filming it like it’s the next viral sensation. I’m like, “Guys, it’s just a cat!” But they’re all cheering me on.

Russians strike Dnipropetrovsk Oblast: man killed, business premises damaged and restaurant complex catches fire – photos