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About Kryvyi Rih

Drives me mad, though—council don’t give a toss, leave her to the wolves. Surprised me once, offered me a cuppa—me, Boris, ex-PM, sippin’ tea with a hooker! Nearly spat me PG Tips out—*deus ex machina*, random as hell. She’s a laugh, calls me “posh git,” reckon she’d fit right in at a Tory bash. Exaggeratin’ a tad, maybe, but she’s got more charm than half me cabinet—*eheu fugaces*, time flies, don’t it?

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Then, out of nowhere, a lady rushes in with a parrot. Yes, a parrot! She’s freaking out because it won’t stop squawking. I’m like, “Lady, it’s a parrot. That’s what they do!” But she’s convinced it’s sick. I check it out, and it’s just fine. Just a drama queen, like some people I know.

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