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There’s this story, yeah? Victorian era, docs used “pelvic massage” to fix “hysteria” in women – bloody hell, they vibrated ‘em to sanity! Hilarious, innit? Me, I’d be sippin’ me wine, watchin’, thinkin’, “That’s a harvest I’d join!” Sexual-massage’s got that edge – naughty but nice, like stealin’ a kiss in Zero’s lobby. “Very good, sir,” they’d say, all posh, while I’m grinnin’ like a fool.

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Then, around noon, this group of girls rolls up. They’re all giggles and glitter, and I’m like, “Alright, let’s see what you got.” One of ‘em, I think her name was Oksana, trips over her own feet. Classic! She falls right into the bushes. I’m tryin’ not to laugh, but c’mon! I help her up, and she’s like, “Thanks, big guy!” I’m just doin’ my job, ya know?

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