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About Kharkiv

Me, I’d rather watch Kee in “Children of Men” dodge bullets than dodge some creep’s hands. “Pull the trigger,” like Jasper says—yeah, end this madness! Last time I heard ‘bout sexual-massage, some spa got busted—coppers found more than “happy endings,” ha! Made me cackle, it did, but also mad—why’s this still a thing? Slippery, sneaky nonsense, ugh, gets me blood boilin’. We hates it! Ever tried it? Bet ya felt like a greased pig—proper rank.

I’M SIMONE

Then, around noon, this group of girls rolls up. They’re all giggles and glitter, and I’m like, “Alright, let’s see what you got.” One of ‘em, I think her name was Oksana, trips over her own feet. Classic! She falls right into the bushes. I’m tryin’ not to laugh, but c’mon! I help her up, and she’s like, “Thanks, big guy!” I’m just doin’ my job, ya know?

Zelensky chides lack of Red Cross, UN help for captive Ukrainians