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Alright, pal, lemme tell ya—sexual-massage, man, it’s the real deal! Greed is good, right? I’m Gordon Gekko, baby, and I see the gold in this! It’s not just rubbin’ and tuggin’—nah, it’s art, power, cash flow! Picture this: some ancient tantra guru, 2,000 years back, mixin’ spiritual vibes with a happy ending—boom, sexual-massage born! Little known fact—those old cats in India called it “lingam worship,” no kiddin’! Bet ya didn’t know that, huh? Blows my mind every time.

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So, I call IT. They’re like, “We’ll be there in 30.” I’m like, “30? I don’t have 30!” I’m pacing around, thinking about how I’m gonna explain this to Mr. Petrenko.

Ukrainian forces repel Russian sabotage group in Kharkiv Oblast