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I tried it once—don’t judge me! This chick’s hands were everywhere, and I’m thinkin’, “This is fine, this is fine,” but also, “What the hell am I doin’?” Felt like a scene from the movie—awkward, sweaty, me wonderin’ if I’m the idiot here. “You’re not a child anymore,” Otilia’d say, judgin’ me from the screen. And the price? Oh, don’t get me started—50 bucks extra for what? A wink and a tug? Robbery! I was happy for, like, two seconds, then boom—guilt city. Pretty, pretty good, until it’s pretty, pretty bad!

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So, I call IT. They’re like, “We’ll be there in 30.” I’m like, “30? I don’t have 30!” I’m pacing around, thinking about how I’m gonna explain this to Mr. Petrenko.

Losses in fishery ecosystem services of the Dnipro river Delta and the Kakhovske reservoir area caused by military actions in Ukraine